MATCH REPORT 8/30

(Match report by special rip-roaring, goalscoring reporter Scott P - Brazilian name: Perkinsio)

This Sunday, the Sunday of Labor Day weekend, was celebrated by the white team and blue team alike; no one really worked all that hard. The use of the lacrosse goals had several affects of the game.

Play was slowed down to a lethargic pace. Both teams actually had to string together several passes from the back field and up through the midfield to get into scoring position. Neither team could use their usual offense of kicking a long ball and running after it like a wild bunch of Indians. (In 2008 I guess it is more appropriate to use the term, “Native Americans”) However, in its place was what I would call the firing squad offense. The lacrosse goals would be surrounded in a semi-circle and the ball would be repeatedly fired at the small net. This offense was brilliantly defended by the sardine-can defense. The defenders would line up shoulder to shoulder as if they were in a tightly packed sardine can. The combination of these two strategic maneuvers created pinball-like goal scoring. The most notable goal was by the Pinball Wizard himself, Mark Miller, who put the ball in his own net.

The game saw the 2008 debut of Dave “don’t confuse me with Keebo” Murphy. Dave had been too busy practicing with Manchester United to play with us this year. Dave played the big blue wall defense with Bobby Two Touch. Missing from the big blue backdrop was Hock, who defected to the white team after a severe trouncing by White the previous week. Hock did make the game highlights by falling into his own lacrosse goal and looking like Spider Man caught in his own web.

Colin put in a fine performance but left before the final whistle. I think Colin needs to put more quarters in the parking meter next week so that he doesn’t have to leave so early. Jonathan also had to leave early. Most likely it was for an emergency dental appointment. Jonathan, who was freshly back from vacation on the island of St. John’s, received an elbow in the mouth by Scott P. during a jump for a header. (Sorry, Mon)

There was only one yellow card the whole game. Dave Murphy took the ball from Jay (his teammate) as Jay was dribbling around Dave. Dave must have forgotten the very basic Waldwick Seniors rule; Jay dribbles, Jay shoots, end of play.

Somewhere near halftime a water break was called. Rich led a lively discussion during the break which lasted long enough to order out for coffee and donuts. After the break the game suffered from attrition. Players just kept leaking off the field. The final moments of the game were so boring that “next goal wins was declared.” Moe smacked a long ball that was within 15 yards of the goal. The goal was awarded to Moe due to lack of interest in continuing.

Man of the Match: Max the ballboy