Sunday, August 24, 2008


Next Sunday, the clash of the old farts will take place back at Goose Island. Sometimes a Labor Day game can be put together, and that would also be at Goose Island. 9am start on Sunday, where I'm sure the possibility of Monday can be discussed.

Also, Stoke City were very, very lucky. It was NEVER a penalty!


Welcome to GooseShit Fields, home of... well, a lot of geese.

After eviction from the glorious, consistent turf at WHS, playing on grass was a nice change. Yes, there was grass - more than at the billiard ball that is Trap Hagen. But it was under a good inch of goose poop.

Scott P didn't care. After putting in a triumphant match report last week, his five goals (all in the same corner of the goal) raised the bar for a White team who one by a handful at full time.

The Whites didn't have Doug in goal, but for a while they did have a Dog - a highly ineffective cut out of a canine designed to keep the geese away. The Blue team had a dog of its own - a tenacious bulldog named Keith who put in a fine performance with only a two-man defense back to help him.

With the White team leading by five, Blue midfield general Ed took it upon himself to rally the troops with a wonder goal solo effort. Any effect on morale was short-lived when, from the kick-off, Scott P did pretty much the same thing for the Whites.

Other honorable mentions go to Tom, who left with an injury for the second week running; Dr. Sal, who may have developed an allergy to the ball and should probably go see someone about it; Keeble who came close enough to win a game of horseshoes - but ended up with no goals; Jerry, the shortest man on the field who scored a header; and finally Mike McM, who was both sorely missed and just plain sore after his injuries last week.

FINAL SCORE: White 7 (or 8) Blue 2

Man-of-the-match: Scott P (White) -Strong and clinical with his finish.

Thursday, August 21, 2008


It has been suggested we return to 9am starting this Sunday now the temp has dropped 20 degrees. See you there all there somewhere between 8:30 (Frank) and 10:45 (Shaun, if he comes at all.)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


(report filed by Scott Perkins - a man the Native Americans have dubbed "Threat From Corners")

It was bright and sunny this past Sunday but there was a dark cloud hanging over the field in Waldwick. The game was full of injuries.

Seemingly immediately after kickoff Jay left the field for the day with an injury. There was no foul that caused the injury but the blue team took a free kick in Jay's honor anyway. Dr. Sal picked the wrong day to stay home. Frank was there, however, but did not need the services of his personal physician.

The next injury happened a little deeper into the first half when John "The 10:15" Gilchrist exceeded the posted speed limit and plowed right into his own teammate, Moe. Although Moe sustained injuries sufficient to leave the field, he stayed the entire match. Gilchrist received a summons for reckless driving. That will add 4 points to his license. One more infraction this season and john will have to take the "safe defenders course" to clear his record.

The injury that really affected the level play was the Mike - Kevin crash. Kevin, as Goalie, jumped for a ball and came down hard on Mike. Mike was down for the count. Last week I mentioned that the only way to stop mike was using the '10:15-Sandwich" play. Well, I was only kidding but this crash sure did stop Mike. I hope that he is OK. After Mike's departure the game slowed down significantly.

Up until that point, the score was 2-1 Blue. Hoch mentioned that with the "blue offense out of commission" they needed to strategize. The strategy was to see who Ted could pass the ball to who could actually shoot on net. Well, it wasn't Tim. He decided to hang back and give others a chance for glory just like he had done at the Olympics for Michael Phelps.

And it wasn't Mark Miller. He was too busy trash talking to take a shot.

Newcomer, "craig" did an excellent job in the white defense along with veterans Rich, John and Colin.

Hoch, without his dynamic duo buddy, Bobby, decided to play every position on the field with the exception of goalie. Hoch was in the back, in the front, in the midfield, left, right and hanging off the field goal posts. The White team needed Hoch's scooter just to keep up with him. I think Hoch dribbled even more than Carlos did today.

Bobby did show up just to keep his perfect attendance record but left without playing a single minute. He signed a few autographs and left for a bloody Mary.

Taking advantage of the recent goalie-Mike collision, Scott P. approached Steve who was about the catch a long bouncing ball. Steve, who had just seen the carnage moments before was a bit hesitant and Scott P., in a pure Keebo moment, nicked the ball with his head and it dribbled slowly into the net to make it a tie a 2-2.

Although the Blue team was briefly deflated by the loss of their superstar, Mike, they roared back with two more goals.

One chance for White to score actually ended with yet another injury. Colin was within yards of the goal and pulled his leg back for a shot that never came because his hamstring seized up and the ball crossed the line for a goal kick. Well, that was the end of Colin for the day. A few minutes later it was the end of the day for Tom also. However, the white defenders did not realize that until they placed a perfect pass down the wing only to find Tom at the top of the bleachers headed for the parking lot.

White did tie the game at 4 but only after the Blue team had asked repeatedly if the game was over yet. As Yogi Berra said, "It ain't over 'till it's over." For the White team, it wasn't over until they could tie the game. Eddie made a perfect pass to Scott P. (at the perfect Keebo spot at the 6 inch line), who put the ball past Joe for a 4-4 tie.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


It's a very slim chance that I will be able to make it on Sunday, so those of you who prefer to wear a White shirt, but are put off by playing alongside "The Vacuum" (pass to him and it is sucked up into nothingness) that is the usual White #6, this could be your chance.

Even though it's cooled off, the 8:30 start might be a good idea. Especially as, as Rocco has suggested, we might find playing time harder to come by unless we take earlier-than-9 starts once school is back in session.

Monday, August 11, 2008


I'll be honest about this from the start. I have no idea who won, and no idea of the score.

On a day when conditions were perfect, if a little warm, and there were no goals (that I can remember) that were disallowed for offside or any other violation, I don't understand how nobody could keep the score.

The White team certainly rose to the challenge and put together some sweet attacks against Steve in the Blue goal. The Blue team, consisting of Mike and some other people, kept things interesting right until the final "whistle" but with no idea of how many goals were scored and by whom (apart from my own three including that header at the end that left me dazed and blinded temporarily in one eye as I lost a contact lens) it's hard to say for sure who won.

FINAL SCORE: Honestly I have no clue. Both teams must have scored about 10 each at least.

Man-of-the-match: Mike M (Blue) - even by his own high standards, it was a masterclass. At least five goals and an engine like a finely-tuned Ferrari.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


TIME: 8:30am


“I am raising the stakes right now, ... If this is a poker game, I am shoving my chips right in the middle of the table. I am raising the ante. Anybody who wants out, can get out. This [White] team is going to win on Sunday. OK? This team is going to win on Sunday.”

- Jim Fassel, interim White team coach

Sunday, August 3, 2008


What looked like a pitcher's duel ended up with the White team blowing an eighth inning lead and slumping to a defeat on a humid and crowded morning.

And yes, it was soccer - not baseball. Just clearing that up.

At one point we had 14-a-side as the heat index was up through the roof. Most importantly, we had two goalkeepers, Steve and Doug, and neither had much to do for 85% of the game such was the focus on excellent defensive plays that frustrated a packed White attacking force in particular.

The White strikers couldn't cash in on the handful of chances that came their way. With Dan, Colin and Moe pulling the strings in the middle of the park, the three-pronged line of Scott R, Tom and Keeble struggled to even get a shot on target. Even in a key goalmouth scramble that would have given the Whites a lead had in ended up in the onion, shots were cleared off the line.

Meanwhile the Blues continued to surge through Vince, Rocco and Ed with Sal often found at the end of promising attacking moves, but unable to hit the ball with any conviction in any direction.

Two goals were disallowed for fouls, but it wasn't a nasty game. The always upbeat Jeff livened things up, but the long lay-off had taken its toll and his rust was showing. I feel for the photographer - seemingly a friend of Sal - who came up to take photos of the beautiful game, but would have ended up with a freakshow of ugliness in both penalty areas.

At 1-1, the game could have gone either way. The Whites had most of the possession, but the Blues had Mike and that can't be overlooked. Like Mark Miller, but with even more benevolence, Mike ran the show in defense and attack. Had Joe not been on top of his game along side Scott P and Ken P at the back, it would have been over-and-out-thank-you-goodnight by nine o'clock.

As the heat went up and the White playing staff went down (Dan and Ken were early leavers, and both had sterling games until that point) the Blues finally made a breakthrough and wound up running up a 3-1 lead - that would become a 4-1 victory with the last kick that ended proceedings.

FINAL SCORE: With more confidence that most weeks, I'm pretty sure even with the goals that were disallowed that it was: Blues 4 Whites 1

Man-of-the-match: Joe (White) -didn't miss a kick from the minute he took to the field (about half-an-hour after we started.)