Monday, September 15, 2008


Lacrosse goals were the order of the day, despite the OK turnout. They were more to compensate for the lack of goalkeepers than to try and have those brave souls that showed up in the hottest September Sunday morning in history (probably) keep the ball on the deck and not resort to hoofing it up the field.

The shot-shy White team certainly tried to keep the ball down, opting to walk the ball into the net while the Blue team, led by Jay, opted to shoot from the halfway line. The two contrasting styles provided a tight affair... much like the fledgeling affair between Dr. Sal and his new friend, who spent 20 minutes just talking on the substitutes bench. It came so naturally and it felt like they had known each other for years.

At 9-9, a "next goal wins" led to White taking the win, but there were relatively few highlights. Jay hit a nice curling shot from 90 yards that went in. Colin scored a deflected own goal from 30 yards. Dave M turned up, handballed with his first touch, then left with an injured hamstring. Rocco scored a brace of distinction. Scott P scored about 11 (mathematically impossible, but.. you know, that's how it felt.)

So, a jovial game played in taxing conditions, and let's hope some goalkeepers turn up next week.

FINAL SCORE: White 10, Blue 9. Yes, I'm sure.

Man-of-the-match: Rocco (not the fastest player on the field, but two fine strikes said: "So what?")

Thursday, September 11, 2008


Two things. Disclaimers if you will.

1) I did not stay for the duration of the match. I had to go coach my kid (she's working on trash-talking - mainly aimed at herself - and missing from six inches, but netting from two) before the bitter end.

2) I left it too long between the final whistle and sitting down to write this crap. As there were no memorable moments for myself personally (ie. no goals scored, one disallowed for offside which I have my doubts about, but I will agree with the referee's decision - even if the "ref" was also one of the opposing central defenders) the rest of the game was just a ho-hum blur of indifference.

Therefore, here's what I do remember:

Mark M scoring an own goal for the second week running. Even a woman walking past with her dog chipped in with abuse: "Hey! Miller! Head up next time, pretty boy!"

Perkinsio rightly called Keeble off of a what would have been a neck-stretcher of a header to bury one in the top corner. Fair play.

The White team didn't have a goal keeper until half-an-hour from the end. The Blue team had Doug. That ain't fair.

I was asked the score (4-2 was my reply) only to be told I was wrong and it was more like 3-3. Now, the only thing "more like" 3-3 than 4-2 would be actually 3-3. So put that up your pipe and get a job on ESPN, stat-guys.

There was an disproportionate number of people playing for the first time in ages, or first time at all. This bodes well for the winter months ahead, if they've got a pair to brave the cold and join the stupid idiots among us, out there on the glacier in mid-January.

Did I mention Mark's o.g.? Bottom corner. Bosh, pick that one out. No chance for the 'keeper.

FINAL SCORE: Hey, don't ask me.

Man-of-the-match: Mark M (White, but Blue) -Strong and clinical with his finish.

Saturday, September 6, 2008


If anyone knows of any reason why we should not lawfully play at 9 o'clock on the turf at WHS this Sunday, speak now or forever hold your piece (no typo there - I know what I'm talking about.)

Monday, September 1, 2008


(Match report by special rip-roaring, goalscoring reporter Scott P - Brazilian name: Perkinsio)

This Sunday, the Sunday of Labor Day weekend, was celebrated by the white team and blue team alike; no one really worked all that hard. The use of the lacrosse goals had several affects of the game.

Play was slowed down to a lethargic pace. Both teams actually had to string together several passes from the back field and up through the midfield to get into scoring position. Neither team could use their usual offense of kicking a long ball and running after it like a wild bunch of Indians. (In 2008 I guess it is more appropriate to use the term, “Native Americans”) However, in its place was what I would call the firing squad offense. The lacrosse goals would be surrounded in a semi-circle and the ball would be repeatedly fired at the small net. This offense was brilliantly defended by the sardine-can defense. The defenders would line up shoulder to shoulder as if they were in a tightly packed sardine can. The combination of these two strategic maneuvers created pinball-like goal scoring. The most notable goal was by the Pinball Wizard himself, Mark Miller, who put the ball in his own net.

The game saw the 2008 debut of Dave “don’t confuse me with Keebo” Murphy. Dave had been too busy practicing with Manchester United to play with us this year. Dave played the big blue wall defense with Bobby Two Touch. Missing from the big blue backdrop was Hock, who defected to the white team after a severe trouncing by White the previous week. Hock did make the game highlights by falling into his own lacrosse goal and looking like Spider Man caught in his own web.

Colin put in a fine performance but left before the final whistle. I think Colin needs to put more quarters in the parking meter next week so that he doesn’t have to leave so early. Jonathan also had to leave early. Most likely it was for an emergency dental appointment. Jonathan, who was freshly back from vacation on the island of St. John’s, received an elbow in the mouth by Scott P. during a jump for a header. (Sorry, Mon)

There was only one yellow card the whole game. Dave Murphy took the ball from Jay (his teammate) as Jay was dribbling around Dave. Dave must have forgotten the very basic Waldwick Seniors rule; Jay dribbles, Jay shoots, end of play.

Somewhere near halftime a water break was called. Rich led a lively discussion during the break which lasted long enough to order out for coffee and donuts. After the break the game suffered from attrition. Players just kept leaking off the field. The final moments of the game were so boring that “next goal wins was declared.” Moe smacked a long ball that was within 15 yards of the goal. The goal was awarded to Moe due to lack of interest in continuing.

Man of the Match: Max the ballboy