Tuesday, July 29, 2008


An 8:30 start is in order again as it's supposed to be super-steamy.

Doug is supposed to be back in goal in time for this one. Great. That makes my job harder.

Also, we are probably four weeks away from paying Rocco again. Just a little heads-up.

Monday, July 28, 2008


It was hot and wet, but a good turnout and an unlikely goalkeeper made for a fun morning.

Firstly - the score. I've no idea. I thought I knew, but when two guys gave me wildly different thoughts on the scoreline, I gave up. I know I didn't score any. Again. That header went close, but...

I digress. Tom brought his friend Colin along to make his debut, and he opened the scoring (and added at least one more - diving header, no less) before leaving early. Vince scored a bunch, cashing in on some niaive White team defending and Tom (Shaggy) making his first appearance in the White goal (and holding his own... not literally, because he would have struggled to make the saves he did if he'd been actually holding his own. I digress.)

The Blue team were certainly the more attractive team to watch - when they were in the middle of the park. Their attacks, however, stemmed from long balls into the final third for Vince and Rocco to run on to. The Whites continued to use the wings while Dan would sometimes stroke through an immaculate pass beyond the defenders for me to miss, over-run, shoot wide, trip over and generally arse-up. Scott P played a little deeper, Tom a little wider, Shaun a little earlier than usual, Tim a little later (post vacation soreness.)

FINAL SCORE: Both teams got at least six each. Then it all gets a little confused, what with offside goals and all. Opinion was that the White team won.

Man-of-the-match: Tom (Shaggy) (White) - took on the goalkeeping mantle and (probably) steered his team to a win.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Barring any calls to the wife from her office at flippin' 6:30am this Sunday, I'll be there and keen to make up for lost time. A DNP (wife's decision) doesn't look good on my resume.

8:30am kick off. 95 in the shade. And it's about time the Whites took a win. Besides, those white shirts really bring out the tan.

Sunday, July 20, 2008


As you are probably noticing right about... now, I'm not there playing alongside you this morning. If anyone wants to submit a match report, it would be appreciated.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


The best news for the White team, still reeling for their humiliating 10-0 whupping last Sunday is that goalkeeper Doug will be AWOL this week. A shoot-on-sight policy will be in place, so bring plenty of balls to account for the ones that will end up:

* killing innocent people running laps

* last seen heading down Route 80

* in snake-infested woodland

* in snakes (like when they eat really big things and you can see the lump in their bodies. Eww!)

* punctured by thorns

* crashing through stained glass windows of nearby churches during the sermon

* damaged when re-entering the atmosphere

* embedded in the windshields of cars driving past

* popped due to powerful, swerving shots that end up in the goal, hit by well-endowed strikers in white shirts (with #6 on the back)

Also: bring ball boys/girls. Which also means: bring dollars to pay them.

8:30 - the turf at WHS. Leave nothing on the field (seriously... it just makes a mess.)

Sunday, July 13, 2008


A lack of communication - not to mention the lack of a goalkeeper - led to a rare shutout as the Blue Team ran up a 10-0 victory over a white team who were lost for words.

It still surprises me how little teammates talk to each other during a WSS game. We're all friends. We all speak the same language. Today's game was a fine illustration of where communication would have changed things around.

Every White attack it seemed went to Jake on the left wing. While Jake is a fine player and all, the main reason he got the ball so often is because he was the only one asking for it.

That's not to say the Blue team's 10-0 win was down to better communication. And while not trying to take anything away from it, every Blue shot was a precise through-ball that split the White defence and had the Blue forward one-on-one with a non-goalkeeper in the White goal. Even Rocco got two! For the love of Jolie!

Even with almost 20 minutes of extra time (that is, time played beyond 10:30) the Whites managed maybe two shots on target. And maybe only six more off target. In nearly two-and-a-half hours. That's rubbish. It was said the Whites have played worse on previous Sundays and still won. Now the Gatorade has worn off, I can't back that up with actual facts.

The Blue offside trap was far from at its best and was ripe to be picked and chewed up. And yet none of the multitude of White forwards crouched on the line ready to be sprung were asking for the ball. And with 13-a-side, there wasn't time to dither on the ball before getting a swift kick in the shins/nuts/thigh. Keith was struggling to maintain discipline across the Blue Curtain. Bobby wasn't 100%, and the heat was taking it out on Rich and Dr. Sal when he was at the back.

There were some very heavy legs, due to a midweek outing for many of the players on both sides, and the conditions were perfect... for lying down with a sangria and watching girls go by. It wasn't pretty, but it was a good excuse to get out of the house.

FINAL SCORE: Blues 10 Whites 0

Man-of-the-match: Rocco (Blue) - two goals and beat the White offside trap time and again.

Monday, July 7, 2008


After the bizzarrary of last Sunday morning's clash, normal service could resume this coming Sunday.

Right now, it's as hot as two rats on the job in a wool sock in Kansas City in August, so I can't see beyond an 8:30am start. It was appreciated last week.

Also worth mentioning from a Keeblewatch point of view is that, if the game was today I wouldn't play. My thigh feels like a hyper-extended rubber band. But I did find my white shirt, which is something. I guess (but at least 12 white-shirt-regulars might disagree.)

Sunday, July 6, 2008


Never has a 6-0 lead been less representative of the evenness of a game at WSS level.

While the eventual full-time result was more like 7-3, the Blue team's lead was down to a lot of luck at both ends of the field, and a legendary performance from a goalkeeper more usually found in central defense.

Yes, with Doug missing, presumed fishing, Keith H was the difference in keeping the Blue team's lead as big as it was. It should be noted he only let in one goal - a thunderbolt from Jay - during his tour of duty guarding the porker's fishnets.

On evidence of the play and on paper, the White team should really have kept the game competitive. A forward line and midfield consisting of Jay, Dan, Ed, Jake, Scott P and Mo, to name the major players, have never struggled more as a collective to stick one in the onion. The three goals they managed by the time this reporter went home with a thigh strain were a combination of frustation and hitting the ball right on the screws by Dan and Jay. All three shots screamed in like RPGs and went RPG (Right Past the Goalie.)

Meanwhile the Blues took their chances, and while the size of the lead may have flattered them somewhat, Mark Miller would have had four if he had a left foot, Jerry would have had nine if he was an inch or two taller, Frank would have had a hat trick if the goal had been an inch or two taller, and Keeble would have netted two more (to add to his meager lone strike that opened the scoring) if he wasn't a 250lb snackmeister still hungover from the three pints of gin and tonic he sank as he hypocritically celebrated the 4th of July just days earlier. Oh, and Rocco should have had a bunch, but that goes without saying.

The addition of Juan, a ringer that arrived with Dan (and that should have been a clue he can play,) on the wing opened up avenues for the Blue forwards to cash in on. The White defenders, marshaled by John G, Rich, Tim M and sometimes Dr. Sal (when he wasn't playing as a striker) were heavily reliant on an offside trap that was increasingly dangerous given the manpower the Blue team was devoting to scoring and the lapses that led to some scrambling to recover.

Another big plus for the Blue team was Mike M and Scott R playing in defense. As two of the best athletes on the field were devoting their skills to spoiling White attacks, the Blues obviously gained an edge. An edge the size of a small car.

Tempers flared up as the Whites tried everything bar running Keith over with his own scooter to try and get the ball in the Blue goal. They were never going to boil over, but with the Blues racking up goals against the run of play, the Whites were running out of ideas. The lackadaisical wing play of suspiciously-under-30-year-old Jake, normally the bane of any fullback who he goes up against, summed up the first hour-and-a-half of the White's game.

The pace of the game slowed considerably, but in equal measure as the game petered out. On another day, the scores could have been reversed and nobody could have complained.

FINAL SCORE: Blues 7 Whites 3 (by the time I left at 10:40)

Man-of-the-match: Keith - a cross between Spiderman and an octopus in goal.

Thursday, July 3, 2008


Celebrate the red, WHITE and BLUE with a soccer festival for the ages this Sunday.

While some players are going to be at the shore, fishing, or just too drunk/hungover to function there should still be enough of a turn out to enjoy the forecasted humidity. Speaking for myself, the 8:30am start is working well and everyone seems to be making it on time (with the exception of Shaun who barely makes it for 10:30am if at all) so if you're reading this, assume we will be on for an early start again.

After the dust bowl/goose shit haven/grass-in-patches delights of Trap, this game will take place on the turf.

PS. I know it's called Independence Day, but independence from whom?

PPS. I just found out. Should I be concerned?