Wednesday, July 16, 2008

MATCH DAY PREVIEW: 7/20

The best news for the White team, still reeling for their humiliating 10-0 whupping last Sunday is that goalkeeper Doug will be AWOL this week. A shoot-on-sight policy will be in place, so bring plenty of balls to account for the ones that will end up:

* killing innocent people running laps

* last seen heading down Route 80

* in snake-infested woodland

* in snakes (like when they eat really big things and you can see the lump in their bodies. Eww!)

* punctured by thorns

* crashing through stained glass windows of nearby churches during the sermon

* damaged when re-entering the atmosphere

* embedded in the windshields of cars driving past

* popped due to powerful, swerving shots that end up in the goal, hit by well-endowed strikers in white shirts (with #6 on the back)

Also: bring ball boys/girls. Which also means: bring dollars to pay them.

8:30 - the turf at WHS. Leave nothing on the field (seriously... it just makes a mess.)

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