MATCH DAY REPORT 8/17

(report filed by Scott Perkins - a man the Native Americans have dubbed "Threat From Corners")

It was bright and sunny this past Sunday but there was a dark cloud hanging over the field in Waldwick. The game was full of injuries.

Seemingly immediately after kickoff Jay left the field for the day with an injury. There was no foul that caused the injury but the blue team took a free kick in Jay's honor anyway. Dr. Sal picked the wrong day to stay home. Frank was there, however, but did not need the services of his personal physician.

The next injury happened a little deeper into the first half when John "The 10:15" Gilchrist exceeded the posted speed limit and plowed right into his own teammate, Moe. Although Moe sustained injuries sufficient to leave the field, he stayed the entire match. Gilchrist received a summons for reckless driving. That will add 4 points to his license. One more infraction this season and john will have to take the "safe defenders course" to clear his record.

The injury that really affected the level play was the Mike - Kevin crash. Kevin, as Goalie, jumped for a ball and came down hard on Mike. Mike was down for the count. Last week I mentioned that the only way to stop mike was using the '10:15-Sandwich" play. Well, I was only kidding but this crash sure did stop Mike. I hope that he is OK. After Mike's departure the game slowed down significantly.

Up until that point, the score was 2-1 Blue. Hoch mentioned that with the "blue offense out of commission" they needed to strategize. The strategy was to see who Ted could pass the ball to who could actually shoot on net. Well, it wasn't Tim. He decided to hang back and give others a chance for glory just like he had done at the Olympics for Michael Phelps.

And it wasn't Mark Miller. He was too busy trash talking to take a shot.

Newcomer, "craig" did an excellent job in the white defense along with veterans Rich, John and Colin.

Hoch, without his dynamic duo buddy, Bobby, decided to play every position on the field with the exception of goalie. Hoch was in the back, in the front, in the midfield, left, right and hanging off the field goal posts. The White team needed Hoch's scooter just to keep up with him. I think Hoch dribbled even more than Carlos did today.

Bobby did show up just to keep his perfect attendance record but left without playing a single minute. He signed a few autographs and left for a bloody Mary.

Taking advantage of the recent goalie-Mike collision, Scott P. approached Steve who was about the catch a long bouncing ball. Steve, who had just seen the carnage moments before was a bit hesitant and Scott P., in a pure Keebo moment, nicked the ball with his head and it dribbled slowly into the net to make it a tie a 2-2.

Although the Blue team was briefly deflated by the loss of their superstar, Mike, they roared back with two more goals.

One chance for White to score actually ended with yet another injury. Colin was within yards of the goal and pulled his leg back for a shot that never came because his hamstring seized up and the ball crossed the line for a goal kick. Well, that was the end of Colin for the day. A few minutes later it was the end of the day for Tom also. However, the white defenders did not realize that until they placed a perfect pass down the wing only to find Tom at the top of the bleachers headed for the parking lot.

White did tie the game at 4 but only after the Blue team had asked repeatedly if the game was over yet. As Yogi Berra said, "It ain't over 'till it's over." For the White team, it wasn't over until they could tie the game. Eddie made a perfect pass to Scott P. (at the perfect Keebo spot at the 6 inch line), who put the ball past Joe for a 4-4 tie.